The Greatest Secret You Were Not Told

The greatest battle of all time didn’t happen in Troy, and it didn’t happen in the Normandy.

The greatest battle of all time happens right now.

The greatest battle happens inside of you.

It is you versus the world’s expectations.

The World’s Expectations

You and I have experienced the outer pressures of the world.

The expectation to marry someone. The expectation to go to college. The expectation to follow the crowd.

An expectation isn’t per se something bad. However, it turns into poison once you make the world’s expectation your own expectation. Once you make someone else’s world view your own, you start to look outside yourself for validation. You begin to  doubt yourself. The feeling of being not good enough creeps into your heart.

“Dress like this, behave like that. Think like this, follow that.”

No, thanks. I’m good.

As the saying goes: “Check yourself, before you wreck yourself.”

Once you let go of what the world has told you what you are, you step back into who you really are. Your natural, beautiful authenticity.

The question remains:

How do we let go of society’s expectations?

Here is what helped me along my journey.

1. Strip down. Get naked.

Did you ever watch children play?

They express themselves freely. They dance freely. They laugh freely. They question freely. Children follow their bliss day in, day out.

Did you ever watch grown-ups play?

Seldom do I.

Grown-ups express what they think they should say. They stay stiffly. They doubt. They accept things as they are.

Seriously, WHAT HAPPENED?

Nothing speacial, a very natural thing.

Children are like sponges. Soaking the world in like sponges, the children took on one idea after another like clothes. And with every piece of clothing they took on themselves, the weight got heavier and heavier. Soon the weight felt burdensome. Soon we didn’t know anymore who we are, because all we saw were the layers we put on.

It is ok that you and I are slaves to others, because we soaked in ideas as we grew up like sponges. We picked up ideas from our parents, our friends, teachers, media. These became the ideas of what’s “right” and “wrong” for us.

Next time you express an oppinion or think of an idea – ask yourself where it comes from. Realize that most of your attitudes are not your own. Most of them are other’s attitudes that you keep on carrying through your life.

Whenever you spot an attitude or an idea about yourself or the world – question it. Ask yourself if you really are that bad at school, if you really are that shy of a person, if you really need to have a well-paid job to live a good life. Or if this ideas come from experiences you had which made you belief that you “are” bad at school, shy and have to have a well-paid job to live a good life.

Layer by layer you strip off that piece of clothing from you. And the more you do, the more you step away from the illusion of who you thought you were into the core of who you really are. That is how you free yourself. And once you begin to free yourself, you stop absorbing expectatios of the world and heal yourself.

2. Accept yourself

You have sides to you that are unique. Sides that some people might have said are great about you, others are weird to you. Own all of them. Stop fitting in.

To love and accept yourself is not only the greatest gift you can make to yourself. To accept and love yourself is the greatest gift you can make to others. When you are fully you, you allow people to be themselves, too. And there never has been a greater need to be ourselves in a world that tried to make us somebody else.

What is something about you that only you can do?

What is something about you that means something special to you?

Question your need to be popular. Because when you try to be popular, you stay at the mercy of other people’s judgement. You cage yourself in.

Stop trying to fit in.

As the great Krishnamurti once said:

“It is no measure of health to be well-adjusted to a profoundly sick society.”

Most people are born originals, but die as a copy. Stop being one of them. Be your original.

Be the gift that you are to the world. Own yourself. Accept yourself. Love yourself.

To love yourself is to be courageous.

To love yourself is to be free.

Love yourself and you belong to the most free and courageous people will ever know.

3. Stop following the Crowd

It takes courage to be yourself. And it takes courage to love yourself. Which is hard because we so often still compare ourselves to the world’s expectations.

To stop following the crowd takes to start following your path. This path doesn’t go outwards; it goes inwards.

What helps to connect with who you are is to meditate a lot. Is to be in nature. Is to face your fears and transcend them. To build the courage to follow your path is to build an inner relationship with yourself.

4. Follow Your Heart

“I think, therefore I am.”

As important as the quote by René Descartes was for western civilization, as much it contains the damage we deal to ourselves by following the world’s expectations.

In the western world we are so much in our heads that we lost the connection to our body, our heart. We need to get in touch with ourselves again. To meditate, to be in nature, to travel and face your fears are ways to get out of your head and the routine that you were telling yourself all life long into a new story which lines lurk inside you.

To follow your heart is a risk, but it is a risk worth taking. You will experience pressure and may experience pain to follow your heart’s calling. But you will also experience much more pain and even greater resistance when you neglect to follow your heart. It is a much greater pain to die having lived a life that was not true to yourself than to dared to be yourself.

To not follow your heart is to leave the world having left your song unsung.

To follow your heart is to follow your bliss. And it is the best thing you can do to yourself, because that way you stop living to the world’s expectations and start living a life that is worth living for you.

Do something that matters.

Be yourself.

Love yourself.

Follow your bliss.

Have a wonderful day.

– Lukas

The Dance

The bright song of birds filled the air with joy outside. It was one of those bright shiny days people tend to reminisce about when they grow up: Kids played outside with their families, couples savoured the richness of every moment as the sun bathed their shapes in light. It was a beautiful day.

Not far away was a hospital. Inside that hospital one particular person was lying.

It was you.

Imagine yourself lying after an accident for months in hospital. Rushing all your life listening to the voice of others without taking time to listen to the whisper of your heart, you find yourself lying in bed alone as you gaze outside the window.

Silence.

First there was pain. Then came struggle. Now there is peace.

All of a sudden you realize that you’ve got all the time you ever wanted for yourself. One by one, you rediscover your dreams and needs: Dreams you thought were long forgotten, needs you thought were of lower necessity. You flipped the other side of the coin and now it’s shining all for you. Accepting life, you realize: Solitude is treasure, therein lies gratitude of high measure.

Tell me, who is happier: the person who accepts the moment of being for months in hospital fully, or the person who, day in, day out, is running from deadline to deadline, regarding every moment as a means to an end and rushing desperately on vacation from one place to the next to see the most possible and trying to catch life in all those snapshots only for once.

The Miracle of Acceptance

There is a cathargic power to clarity in acceptance. Total acceptance of all there is. Forgiving means to hold no resistance towards life – to allow life to live through you. Where acceptance is, there lies clarity. And where clarity is, your way unfolds clearly in front of you. When you clench to the past or live in the future, you can’t embrace what life offers you now. Your past must not be your future. But since the future is determined by thine decisions alone you make now, you have to be in the now as present as you can.

Things are as they are. Conditions are neither good, nor bad. They all become what we call “good” or “bad” as soon as we attribute them as such in our minds. Hence the best tip for you is to accept things simply as they are. Whenever you are confronted with a  “bad” situation: hold on, become centered and accept everything as it is. Just accept. It makes you see clearer in the abundance of life you dived into long time ago and which clouds your inner eye to make a decision, any decision. Make sure to be of clear mind, that is to accept all there is first, in order to make the right decisions for yourself.

“I don’t like to indulge to everything that happens around me. I want to fight for my reality”, someone may protest now.

Acceptance doesn’t mean to indulge to everything that happens to you, but rather come to a halt and gain a neutral view of your situation in order to make the best decision for yourself. You are right, there are things you must devote your whole self to, things that demand everything from you, things  by which you truely become happy. However, in order to recognize these things, things you believe in and things worth fighting for, you must come to silence first. Remember: Where silence is, there is you. And where you are, therein is your shining star.IMG_6579

The Dancer

Life is a dancer: when you dance with him, every moment becomes ease in the duet of the two of you. It’s one of the those moments when you follow your heart and everything works out exactly as you want it. And he will kick on your feet, you will stumble and sometimes you may even fall. But as with every dance, the more your practice it, the better you and your partner become. It’s the same with life: when things get hard, don’t try to quit. It’s just a step on your foot to test how much you want to embrace the dance with life and be rewarded with its joy.

Once you step outside of this duet, life and you seperate into heavy being. When this happens, step again into duet with life. Let life be the man and let him lead you. Wherever you belong – life will bring you there.

See life as a friend. Work with him, instead of working against him.

Sing with him when he sings.

Cry with him when he cries.

Dance with him when he dances with you.

And live with him, for he lives within you.