The Greatest Secret You Were Not Told

The greatest battle of all time didn’t happen in Troy, and it didn’t happen in the Normandy.

The greatest battle of all time happens right now.

The greatest battle happens inside of you.

It is you versus the world’s expectations.

The World’s Expectations

You and I have experienced the outer pressures of the world.

The expectation to marry someone. The expectation to go to college. The expectation to follow the crowd.

An expectation isn’t per se something bad. However, it turns into poison once you make the world’s expectation your own expectation. Once you make someone else’s world view your own, you start to look outside yourself for validation. You begin to  doubt yourself. The feeling of being not good enough creeps into your heart.

“Dress like this, behave like that. Think like this, follow that.”

No, thanks. I’m good.

As the saying goes: “Check yourself, before you wreck yourself.”

Once you let go of what the world has told you what you are, you step back into who you really are. Your natural, beautiful authenticity.

The question remains:

How do we let go of society’s expectations?

Here is what helped me along my journey.

1. Strip down. Get naked.

Did you ever watch children play?

They express themselves freely. They dance freely. They laugh freely. They question freely. Children follow their bliss day in, day out.

Did you ever watch grown-ups play?

Seldom do I.

Grown-ups express what they think they should say. They stay stiffly. They doubt. They accept things as they are.

Seriously, WHAT HAPPENED?

Nothing speacial, a very natural thing.

Children are like sponges. Soaking the world in like sponges, the children took on one idea after another like clothes. And with every piece of clothing they took on themselves, the weight got heavier and heavier. Soon the weight felt burdensome. Soon we didn’t know anymore who we are, because all we saw were the layers we put on.

It is ok that you and I are slaves to others, because we soaked in ideas as we grew up like sponges. We picked up ideas from our parents, our friends, teachers, media. These became the ideas of what’s “right” and “wrong” for us.

Next time you express an oppinion or think of an idea – ask yourself where it comes from. Realize that most of your attitudes are not your own. Most of them are other’s attitudes that you keep on carrying through your life.

Whenever you spot an attitude or an idea about yourself or the world – question it. Ask yourself if you really are that bad at school, if you really are that shy of a person, if you really need to have a well-paid job to live a good life. Or if this ideas come from experiences you had which made you belief that you “are” bad at school, shy and have to have a well-paid job to live a good life.

Layer by layer you strip off that piece of clothing from you. And the more you do, the more you step away from the illusion of who you thought you were into the core of who you really are. That is how you free yourself. And once you begin to free yourself, you stop absorbing expectatios of the world and heal yourself.

2. Accept yourself

You have sides to you that are unique. Sides that some people might have said are great about you, others are weird to you. Own all of them. Stop fitting in.

To love and accept yourself is not only the greatest gift you can make to yourself. To accept and love yourself is the greatest gift you can make to others. When you are fully you, you allow people to be themselves, too. And there never has been a greater need to be ourselves in a world that tried to make us somebody else.

What is something about you that only you can do?

What is something about you that means something special to you?

Question your need to be popular. Because when you try to be popular, you stay at the mercy of other people’s judgement. You cage yourself in.

Stop trying to fit in.

As the great Krishnamurti once said:

“It is no measure of health to be well-adjusted to a profoundly sick society.”

Most people are born originals, but die as a copy. Stop being one of them. Be your original.

Be the gift that you are to the world. Own yourself. Accept yourself. Love yourself.

To love yourself is to be courageous.

To love yourself is to be free.

Love yourself and you belong to the most free and courageous people will ever know.

3. Stop following the Crowd

It takes courage to be yourself. And it takes courage to love yourself. Which is hard because we so often still compare ourselves to the world’s expectations.

To stop following the crowd takes to start following your path. This path doesn’t go outwards; it goes inwards.

What helps to connect with who you are is to meditate a lot. Is to be in nature. Is to face your fears and transcend them. To build the courage to follow your path is to build an inner relationship with yourself.

4. Follow Your Heart

“I think, therefore I am.”

As important as the quote by René Descartes was for western civilization, as much it contains the damage we deal to ourselves by following the world’s expectations.

In the western world we are so much in our heads that we lost the connection to our body, our heart. We need to get in touch with ourselves again. To meditate, to be in nature, to travel and face your fears are ways to get out of your head and the routine that you were telling yourself all life long into a new story which lines lurk inside you.

To follow your heart is a risk, but it is a risk worth taking. You will experience pressure and may experience pain to follow your heart’s calling. But you will also experience much more pain and even greater resistance when you neglect to follow your heart. It is a much greater pain to die having lived a life that was not true to yourself than to dared to be yourself.

To not follow your heart is to leave the world having left your song unsung.

To follow your heart is to follow your bliss. And it is the best thing you can do to yourself, because that way you stop living to the world’s expectations and start living a life that is worth living for you.

Do something that matters.

Be yourself.

Love yourself.

Follow your bliss.

Have a wonderful day.

– Lukas

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My Little Secret

I want to share a little secret with you.

I. Love. Being. Naked.

Be it sleeping naked in bed, spending the whole day naked with your partner, or running shirtless around.

Whatever you may think.

I don’t care.

It feels so good to be naked.

It feels just like it should be.

I feel connected to my own nature and everything that is around me when I’m naked.

I truely love being naked.

Especially when it comes to one thing.

Authenticity.

Being authentic means to know who you are and to communicate it ithrough your thoughts, words and actions to the world.

Give the world all you’ve got.

But still, why do we hold it back?

Why do we sometimes hang out with people we don’t like? Why do we agree to appointments we don’t want to be in? Why do we say ‘I love you’, even though our hearts don’t say so? Why do we choose a job we hate to our guts and leave our passions on the floor?

It has one word.

And it has taken on like a virus throughout society.

Do you want to know what it is?

Conformity.

We conform in our lives, because not being able to determine all consequences of our actions scares us – sometimes to death.

Conformity means security to many of us. But there is one little thing your parents might not have told you about security.

It is an illusion.

We all are part in this thing called Life. And it is a wild thing. Sometimes it scares you, other times it embraces you, then it knocks your feet off the ground, and eventually it amazes you with its miracles and its beauty.

Today you live, you may have a partner, you may have a house, you may have a well paid job which allows you to live relatively on high standards.

Tomorrow you may lose one thing or lose it all. You may suffer a heart attack, your partner may cheat on you, catastrophes may destroy your house and an economical crisis may melt down your job like a fire burns down a cigarette in your mouth. It may go all to smoke.

And these are not special cases. These are things that happen to thousands and millions of people every day.

So why hold anything back?

It is time that you kick out the word “security” out of your vocabulary and start to embrace one thing.

Vulnerability.

Embrace your vulnerability and jump headfirst into the waves of life.

Be completely you and tell people how much you care about them.

Go out and tell the cashier what a beautiful smile she has.

Kick out those poisonous people out of your life and spend more time with the ones who nurture you.

Go and do something that matters to you.

And most importantly say out loud what you believe in.

Let every thought, every word, and every action be a witness to what you believe in.

These are signs. And we live in times where people seek desperately for people who believe in what they believe in.

When you begin to be a little more authentic each day, magical things begin to happen:

People respect you for who you are. People who believe in what you believe in begin to stream into your life. People begin to see the change they wanted to see in the world.

Through You.

More Sex. More Love. More Freedom. More Happiness. Countless opportunities.

Isn’t it all you want to have?

Give the world all you’ve got and start being more authentic.

Be naked.

3 Revolutionary Lessons I Learnt This Week

Do you know these times when just everything falls into place? When so much good comes into your life that you don’t know what to say?

I must share something with you today.

After this incredible week I learnt three important lessons we all must learn in life.

Here they are, sweet and simple.

3 Lessons

You and I have dreams.

You and I have ambitions.

And you and I have doubts.

Doubts of ever making it, doubts of our goals, doubts of ourselves.

Do you also know these doubts?

Now let me tell you something.

All these doubts have one common denominator.

It’s the FEAR OF NOT BEING GOOD ENOUGH.

We all are guilty of this, and I fail at overcoming it many many times.

“Who am I to give advice? Who am I to build a business? Who am I to write a book? Who am I to change something in the world?”

Do these questions resonate with you?

Alright.

Now stop.

Take a deep breath.

And give me an honest answer:

WHY NOT YOU?

Why not you to build a business? You have ideas, experiences, skills and talents nobody else has in this world. Go and create something to add value to the world! Because you can!

Why not you to write a book? You have a voice nobody else has. You have a view that’s refreshing to this world. Go and write that book! The world waits to hear your voice and your song needs to be sung! Go do it. Because you can!

Why not you to coach someone? You have a story nobody else has and experiences nobody else has made. To you you may not seem great enough to give someone advice, but there is this one person who looks up to you, a person who needs advice you have. Go and share it. Because you can!

Lesson #1: “Why not me?” Realize that you are already good enough. Give yourself permission to realize that you have everything you need for your dream, and start from there. Give it a shot!

When you’ve tackled the first lesson, the next sweetie comes around the corner which will rock your world.

Lesson #2: Ask!

Realize that there are so many people that understand you and who are willing to help you. But guess what, they cannot look into your head! I dare you to ask. You will be amazed how many people will love to help you.

With every enterprise you will ever take in your life you will soon realize that you need help.

If you find yourself at crossroads and need advice, if you don’t have the money to keep going, or if you just need someone to listen.

ASK PEOPLE.

Imagine you had a company and a young fellow with a vivid spirit and ambition would come to you and ask you for advice. Wouldn’t you give it to him?

Imagine your daughter would come to you and ask you for money, because she wants to start an organization to help people. Wouldn’t you give it to her?

You exactly know the feeling when you help people.

It feels good, huh?

It goes much deeper than that.

IT FEELS GREAT!

Guess what: as much as you love to help people, people love to help you.

Give people the opportunity to help you. They will thank you for that.

And ultimately they will help you.

Lost but not least –

Lesson #3: Learn to say No!

Be it the negative voice in your head, a request from a friend or a time sucking activity such as facebook.

When you want to accomplish your dream, learn to say No more often.

And this is not a bad thing.

Many people mistake saying No with being selfish.

A common mistake I often made and still make to this day.

The ability to say no stems from self-love and self-care.

I’m not saying you should not help your friend when he or she needs it or that you should not go out anymore.

All I’m saying is you should start saying No a little bit more often.

Probably you went out the fifth time in a row when all you really wanted to do was write down that idea you had for your book.

Or you answer any request people make and find yourself irritated that you never find time for yourself and what matters to you.

If that is the case, it is time to embrace the Power of Saying No.

Start simple by telling your friend next time that you would love to go out with him or would love to help her now, but you have to finish this thing first and then you will attend him or her.

It’s a paradox, but the more you say no, the more people respect you.

Sounds weird, doesn’t it?

It’s simply because you broadcast that you have self-worth.

In all our honesty, deep down within we admire people who have self-worth and we would love to have some more of it, too.

And when this person who doesn’t have always time makes time for us, we feel extremely grateful and share real quality time together.

Instead of looking up to this person, be that person.

People will thank you for it.

And your future self will thank you the most for it.

Real Story: How 3 Lessons Changed My Life

I was fortunate to make a dream become a reality this week.

All my life at uni I was looking up to those people who had a scholarship.

“If I only had it, too!”

Over the last years, that voice kept singing in my head over, and over, and over again.

But I didn’t feel good enough.

And because of that I didn’t want to ask people for help or information, because I thought it would’ve been useless.

And I kept going out and doing things that were fun, but didn’t matter to me as much as receiving that scholarship I desired to have.

One day, I made a change.

Instead of asking “Who am I to receive a scholarship?” I asked myself “After all I’ve done, WHY NOT ME?”

That idea thrilled me.

So I got up, got out of my house and was willing to get something.

I asked people who had scholarships.

I asked the financing counselor at my uni how to apply for a scholarship.

I asked my professors to write a commendatory letter.

I asked a really good friend to help me write my application for a scholarship.

And then I said no.

No to going out when I felt I had to work on my application.

No to my doubts I was not good enough.

No to time sucking activities.

I applied.

And I waited.

And waited. And waited.

Yesterday, I received a letter from my uni.

My heart jumped and raced on a highway.

This was the moment of truth.

I took a deep breath, opened the envelope. And there it was, written in magical letters:

“Hereby we would like to thank you for your interest in our scholarship program, and are glad to announce that you have been accpeted for the scholarship program.”

I was at loss of words. I jumped and cried out loud, embraced in bliss and filled with gratitude.

Here I was, holding in my hand evidence for something I once thought impossible to be possible.

All because of three little things I did differently this time.

Thank you.

In gratitude-

Lukas

Let’s Talk For a Second!

As mentioned lately I found a true gem in my community. With the utmost probability you can find it also in your city.

Talk is about Toastmasters.

It was true for me and it may be true for you, if I say that especially one question may arise.

Is Toastmasters the right thing for me?

Only you can answer the question for yourself. But here are some good hints that it is:

Do you feel misunderstood?

Are you happy with your communication skills?

Could you improve your communication skills more?

If you affirmed these questions, then, by all means, the answer is

YES, YES and YES.

Communication is the ultimate skill you must learn to live the life you want. It’s good that you have great ideas, but are you able to communicate them with the world?

Revolutions of all kind – personal, social, political, you name it – originated in one person. But it didn’t end there, right? From Abraham Lincoln, to Mahatma Gandhi and Martin Luther King Jr., they all had an IDEA that changed the world, but change was made by the people they inspired to follow. The connecting point between your idea and the revolution you want to see in the world is your ability to COMMUNICATE it.

Whether you want to bring world peace, build your own business or work on your marriage, you will not accomplish it alone. Your success depends solely on your ability to connect with people.

Failure is done alone. Success is made together.

I’ve been studying communication and social dynamics for quite a long time now, yet have I never encountered an environment that strengthens communcation skills in such an extent that Toastmasters does.

Here you have the right people you want to have in your corner.

People who believe life is a party. People who want to make the most of you. People who believe in you.

Whether you are a shy person who is afraid to talk to people or whether you are an outspoken person who wants to communicate more effectively, Toastmasters is your place to be.

I can hardly wait for the next meeting. Can you?

Take the next step. Your partner, the world, your future self will thank you for it.

Happy speaking!

-Lukas

Toast to the Toasties!

We all have dreams. And we all look for people who believe in what we believe in.

But how do we find them?

Let me share with you a personal story how I found a true gem to surround myself with passionate people that you can also find in your town.

Yesterday was the day.

I finally made it to the club I wanted to go for a long time.

What I found totally BLEW MY MIND.

As I entered the room, the energy was mind-boggling. The sort of encouraging and pulsating energy that makes you come alive. Positivity and encouragement just by being in this room were so palpable, I could literally grasp it with my hands.

I never saw a group of people so diverse yet together: from early 20s to late 60s, from professors, political representatives, lawyers and doctors to blue-collar workers, students and retired persons you could find people from all different aspects of life and society.

It didn’t matter who you are or where you come from: the only thing that mattered was you and I who come together for the same purpose to make the best of ourselves, help each other the best we can and have a good time together. No I, no You, no But.

Just We.

Talk is about Toastmasters!

You want to improve your communication skills?

You want to improve your public speaking an leadership skills?

Then you better check out your local Toastmasters club, as it gives you abundant opportunity to improve in those areas.

And here comes the best part.It’s so much FUN!

From comic to breathtaking speeches, you get all kinds of speeches. Laughs are guaranteed!

Don’t be afraid to go there! All members have been in the same spot as you are – and talked themselves out more than you do. 🙂

Go there and see the magic unfold.

My toast goes to all the Toasties in the world!

Happy speaking!

-Lukas

 

 

 

 

 

Stop Overdoing It!

Can personal development be bad for you?

Not exactly. But you can. Once you become obsessed with personal development.

On the way to become your best self you take in all those principals from experts like a food-addicted person eats muffins, eggs, anything for breakfast. You clutter all those promising principles

within, thinking that knowing about them will make you your best person.

Let me share you something:

Personal development is supposed to make you better. It is not supposed to make you best.

Because you never will. Perfection does not exist.

Take your personal education seriously, but don’t become too rigid and overdo it. Otherwise it will harm you more than it will do you good.

As any other obsession, it will feed on you and start becoming the only vision you see life through. I can tell you this, because I’ve been through this.

What became an enrichment in your life, becomes a burden that pulls you down.

“I’m falling back!“

“I am supposed to be better by now!“

“Why am I not feeling better?“

You stop living your life and start living a life like a robot – lifeless, sterile, void of feelings.

When you try to opperate on principles all the time, you try to behave like robot.

Which you aren’t.

You are a human being that laughs, cries, falls, lives with all its strengths and weaknesses. Your strengths and weaknesses make you beautiful. So embrace them.

Yes, your life may need some guidance. And you do very well with your intention to make it better. So put on a corsette.

But don’t pull it too tightly.

Life, happiness, creativity – it won’t flow when you limit yourself too much.

Take the first step and work on yourself.

One change at a time.

When you succeed in one change, move on to the next.

And then to the next. And the next.

As soon as you learn about something worth applying, work on that change only until you succeed.

During that process, allow yourself to fail. Fall out of line.

Take the first step, grow, fail, fall, smile, get up again and move on.

Enjoy the process of falling back and getting better. It makes you the better person.

Every once in a while, take a moment and look back.

Look how far you’ve got.

This is how great you are.

-Lukas

How Do You Get Through Your Day?

Video

Whenever you have a rough day, watch this.

Richie’s story touched me deeply. I bet it did the same with you.

Next time you and I complain, put up your hand and start counting your blessings:

1) I’m alive.

2) I have family.

3) I got my health.

4) If I can look up I can get up.

5) The best is yet to come.

If someone tells you you can’t do it, show them how you do it. Find your Richie Parker within.

Don’t listen to people who try to tell you what you can do and what not.

Impossible is nothing.

Do your next step toward your goal today and show the world that you are possible.

Live fully, laugh often, choose courageously.

-Lukas

How To Jumpstart Your Day

This year has been the most productive in my life.

Personally and professionally I cannot think of any more successful time in my life.

By the end of 2012 I decided to make 2013 my best year. So I sat down at my computer and researched the internet and books on ideas to improve my productivity.

I came across an abundance of great ideas and applied them over the last few months. Eventually, after few trials and errors and some tweaking, I came across a way that works for me.

By far the most rewarding habit was the creation of a morning routine. This really changed the game for me.

Today, I want to share it with you.

So here it is:

My Morning Routine

  • Wake up at 6 a.m.
  • Envision major goals in my life.
  • Go to the bathroom and wash my face.
  • Exercise (muscle workout, running or swimming).
  • Eat breakfast.
  • Shower.
  • Set 2 to 3 Most Important Tasks (MITs) for today.
  • Start the day with one MIT

The MITs I set for the day are tasks with the highest urgency. These are the tasks that I MUST finish today. There are several other things I do during the day, but by pointing out the MITs for the day I get clear on what I have to do. Focus is everything and I did not come across any better concept than identifiying your MITs for the day. My MITs are the first things I do during the day. That way I finish the day knowing I finished the most important thigns and came closer to my goals.

Another thing why I love this routine is that it pumps me with energy and positivity for the rest of the day. By envisioning and seeing myself in my future goals I lift myself up, get focused on what I want to achieve and rise with a smile. Exercise chases the last bit of fatigue out of my body and fills me with energy and joy. It feels great to do something good for my body from the beginning of the day.

I know that hearing to get up earlier doesn’t pump you up at once. Don’t worry! I’ve been there, too. But watch this: Imagine you would eventually get up one to two hours earlier than you usually do and use it constructively to lift yourself up from the first moments of your day – how much more would you finish during the day? How much happier would you be? How much more fulfilled of a person would you become having finished more of the things you wanted to?

In the past I usually got up by 8 in the morning. What I did over the last months is simply to set my alarm on 7 o’clock and used the extra hour to establish my first morning routines. It was WAY easier than I expected. Once that worked for me, I started to wake up at 6:30 am. Now I wake up at 6 am – happier and fresher than I ever did in my life.

The best thing of all? I finish all the things I never got time during the day already in the morning when everyone is still asleep! This way I got time for myself and treat myself well without any distraction.

I own the day – with clarity, positivity and energy.

Start your day as positive as you can. For the one who greats the day with a smile wins the day from start.

To your happy mornings!

Do you have a morning routine? Share it and leave a comment!

Dream big, laugh often, choose courageously.

-Lukas

Learn about the Foundation of Happiness

Video

A friend of mine stumbled upon this highly recommending video whilst researching empathy.

Please take your time … and watch it.

When you’ve finished watching, come back.

🙂

🙂

🙂

Isn’t that great?

Since expressing gratitude is one of the most contributing factors to overall happiness in your life, let us try it for ourselves.

1. Think of the person who has influenced you the most.
2. Write down why this person has influenced you so much.
3. Pick up the phone to call that person and read out loud what you just wrote.

The value of feelings comes from sharing them.

Of course I had to think of the person who inspired me the most.

It was my great-grandmother.

Being a young adult during Second World War in Poland, she witnessed more cruelty any heart can bear. Despite all this hardship she and her family have been through, she kept her positive spirit, enriching the lifes of people she met with her shining spirit. Where everyone else would get bitter, she would be the light that shines on even brighter. From time to time she would share stories with me I would have never thought of, stories of profound humanity and generosity in this dark times.

My great-grandmother would always see the good in people and point it out wholeheartedly in front of other people. She always saw the good in every situation.

Simply by being herself, it is her who taught me the lessons of being a good person: always seeing the good in people, sharing with others, caring for others, and being the positive change you want to see in your life.

From early on it was her who saw something in me nobody else could see and who would support me more than anyone else. I cannot think of anyone more inspirational than her.

She was a great woman.

Unfortunately she passed away 4 years ago by the age of 96. This year would be her 100th birthday – but to me she will always be my 100 year-old great-grandmother who would always remain positive with a smile on her face and change the lifes of us with her love.

I am grateful beyond measure to have met this person.

What are you grateful for today?

Seize the abundance of happiness that is around you.

Live grateful, and always wear a smile on your face.

–Lukas

When Was Last Time You Did Something First Time?

Let’s go on a journey.

Unwritten by life, imagine you were a child again.  Do you remember the time you got your first bicycle?

Promising it had an enticing magic to you that you had to jump on. It was irresistible. Sure, you were afraid to fall, but the allure soon got hold of you and you would not stop getting on that bike until you could ride it as all the other kids. You just wanted to be as free as them.

All the curiosity coming alive and the fire of excitement burning in your chest everytime you found something new in the world. Do you remember it?

When was the last time you felt the same?

Do you feel that itch to start something new?

Maybe it’s to start your own business! Or maybe it’s playing guitar in a band!

I know, I know. You may be in lack of experience, never having had a guitar in your hand.

But today is not about yesterday. Today is about you. Today is the day you take the first step to create the future you want to see.

Imagine what difference it would make in your life if you would know how to play guitar or know how to connect with anyone on a deeper level. Imagine you learned to live your passion and get paid for it! How much more rewarding that life would be!

I hope you are curious for that life, because I know you are hungry.

Bring out the curiosity to learn something new and be excited for the rewards it will bring along!

Curiosity combined with excitement brings adventure.

And in every beginning there is a magic,
that protects us and helps us to live.

Hermann Hesse

Learning something new is the beginning to become something more we already are. And do you know what the most beautiful thing about learning is? Learning is SO MUCH fun!

Learning new things is an exciting journey. And as with every other journey, you determine how far you want to go.

It is not necessary to become a professional in every area that matters to you. To most people the magic of feeling fulfilled already happens when we become expert enough for something that matters to us: to be able to play our favourite song on a guitar, or to be able to order a meal at a restaurant in Japanese.

Learning a new language, learning to play a new instrument or developing a new mindset is a journey. To be vulnerable again, to rise and fall, and get up again, and discover places you haven’t seen before is so rewarding. Whatever skill you decide for, the journey towards it will enrich your life. Enjoy the process.

Scratch that itch you have and dive into new territory!

Give yourself permission to be a beginner at something. Let next time be the first time for something new!

What was the Last Thing You did Something for the first time?