The Greatest Secret You Were Not Told

The greatest battle of all time didn’t happen in Troy, and it didn’t happen in the Normandy.

The greatest battle of all time happens right now.

The greatest battle happens inside of you.

It is you versus the world’s expectations.

The World’s Expectations

You and I have experienced the outer pressures of the world.

The expectation to marry someone. The expectation to go to college. The expectation to follow the crowd.

An expectation isn’t per se something bad. However, it turns into poison once you make the world’s expectation your own expectation. Once you make someone else’s world view your own, you start to look outside yourself for validation. You begin to  doubt yourself. The feeling of being not good enough creeps into your heart.

“Dress like this, behave like that. Think like this, follow that.”

No, thanks. I’m good.

As the saying goes: “Check yourself, before you wreck yourself.”

Once you let go of what the world has told you what you are, you step back into who you really are. Your natural, beautiful authenticity.

The question remains:

How do we let go of society’s expectations?

Here is what helped me along my journey.

1. Strip down. Get naked.

Did you ever watch children play?

They express themselves freely. They dance freely. They laugh freely. They question freely. Children follow their bliss day in, day out.

Did you ever watch grown-ups play?

Seldom do I.

Grown-ups express what they think they should say. They stay stiffly. They doubt. They accept things as they are.

Seriously, WHAT HAPPENED?

Nothing speacial, a very natural thing.

Children are like sponges. Soaking the world in like sponges, the children took on one idea after another like clothes. And with every piece of clothing they took on themselves, the weight got heavier and heavier. Soon the weight felt burdensome. Soon we didn’t know anymore who we are, because all we saw were the layers we put on.

It is ok that you and I are slaves to others, because we soaked in ideas as we grew up like sponges. We picked up ideas from our parents, our friends, teachers, media. These became the ideas of what’s “right” and “wrong” for us.

Next time you express an oppinion or think of an idea – ask yourself where it comes from. Realize that most of your attitudes are not your own. Most of them are other’s attitudes that you keep on carrying through your life.

Whenever you spot an attitude or an idea about yourself or the world – question it. Ask yourself if you really are that bad at school, if you really are that shy of a person, if you really need to have a well-paid job to live a good life. Or if this ideas come from experiences you had which made you belief that you “are” bad at school, shy and have to have a well-paid job to live a good life.

Layer by layer you strip off that piece of clothing from you. And the more you do, the more you step away from the illusion of who you thought you were into the core of who you really are. That is how you free yourself. And once you begin to free yourself, you stop absorbing expectatios of the world and heal yourself.

2. Accept yourself

You have sides to you that are unique. Sides that some people might have said are great about you, others are weird to you. Own all of them. Stop fitting in.

To love and accept yourself is not only the greatest gift you can make to yourself. To accept and love yourself is the greatest gift you can make to others. When you are fully you, you allow people to be themselves, too. And there never has been a greater need to be ourselves in a world that tried to make us somebody else.

What is something about you that only you can do?

What is something about you that means something special to you?

Question your need to be popular. Because when you try to be popular, you stay at the mercy of other people’s judgement. You cage yourself in.

Stop trying to fit in.

As the great Krishnamurti once said:

“It is no measure of health to be well-adjusted to a profoundly sick society.”

Most people are born originals, but die as a copy. Stop being one of them. Be your original.

Be the gift that you are to the world. Own yourself. Accept yourself. Love yourself.

To love yourself is to be courageous.

To love yourself is to be free.

Love yourself and you belong to the most free and courageous people will ever know.

3. Stop following the Crowd

It takes courage to be yourself. And it takes courage to love yourself. Which is hard because we so often still compare ourselves to the world’s expectations.

To stop following the crowd takes to start following your path. This path doesn’t go outwards; it goes inwards.

What helps to connect with who you are is to meditate a lot. Is to be in nature. Is to face your fears and transcend them. To build the courage to follow your path is to build an inner relationship with yourself.

4. Follow Your Heart

“I think, therefore I am.”

As important as the quote by René Descartes was for western civilization, as much it contains the damage we deal to ourselves by following the world’s expectations.

In the western world we are so much in our heads that we lost the connection to our body, our heart. We need to get in touch with ourselves again. To meditate, to be in nature, to travel and face your fears are ways to get out of your head and the routine that you were telling yourself all life long into a new story which lines lurk inside you.

To follow your heart is a risk, but it is a risk worth taking. You will experience pressure and may experience pain to follow your heart’s calling. But you will also experience much more pain and even greater resistance when you neglect to follow your heart. It is a much greater pain to die having lived a life that was not true to yourself than to dared to be yourself.

To not follow your heart is to leave the world having left your song unsung.

To follow your heart is to follow your bliss. And it is the best thing you can do to yourself, because that way you stop living to the world’s expectations and start living a life that is worth living for you.

Do something that matters.

Be yourself.

Love yourself.

Follow your bliss.

Have a wonderful day.

– Lukas

How to Boost Your Happiness – INSTANTLY

Do you know the feeling when someone asks you for your help, be it a beggar asking you for spare money or a stranger asking you to carry something, and you say no? How do you feel? As you walk away, do you also feel detached inside, a feeling of dullness coming over you, covering your sense of well-being like clouds cover the sun?

I do. Because every opportunity you’ve missed to help, is your missed opportunity that you could’ve made the world better, and yourself happier.

That’s why I created a new habit.

“Everytime someone asks me for help, I give it to him or her, freely and wholeheartedly.”

That’s it.

Everytime someone asks me for money, I give it to him. Everytime someone asks me for advice, I share it with him. Everytime someone has a troubled mind and needs someone to listen to, I take time and listen. And even when I reckon I don’t have time, I try to spare at least a second. Then I look the person in the eye, give away my smile, and say sincerely that I would love to help, but unfortunately need to go.

We all have our own troubles and we all fight our own wars within. To give someone your time and just listen is the greatest gift you can make any person.

So share! Because as the saying goes: “sharing is caring”.

Since I learnt the lesson of sharing, I am a much happier person, everyday.

And do you know what’s best about it? Even if you’re unhappy and you give, you will become happier.

Next time you complain about all the negativity around you, give your positivity to the people. If people have been rude to you, give them your kindness. Whatever you wish for, be the change you want to see in the world.

“Happiness is the only thing that doubles when you share it”

Albert Schweitzer

Try to become more aware of opportunites you could help everyday.

If you see an old woman carrying heavy bags across the street, go there and help her without asking. If you have any knowledge others would love to know about, share it with them. If you see a child being bullied, go there and help him out. If you see an adult in grief sitting on a bench, sit down and just listen. I guarantee, you will be much happier than you were before.

“To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived—this is to have succeeded.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Because at the end of your life it will not be the cars you drove and the money you had on your bank account. At the end of your life it will be about the moments that took your breath away and the lifes you touched.

What do you have that you could give away?