Is the hardest thing I had to learn.
Is all I ever had to learn.
Is all you ever have to do.
Is what you will learn.
I don’t know about you, but surrender was such a foreign concept to me. Having grown up in the western world, we are taught from a very young age to “take the reins” in our own hands, to “conquer”, to “suck it up and not give in”. It is all about doing more while simultaneously distancing ourselves from letting go of being, letting things go their own course. Especially for the masculine to let go of control is labelled as being weak and a losing game.
As much power lies in getting out of your own way, leaving all the victim stories of yours behind and become an action-taker, you and I know that it is all exciting and empowering. Entrepreneurs and most people in the self-help industry are all about this. At the same time it is an extremely draining way of living. Always going from one achievement to the next. Always keeping things under control. Always be on the go. Always feeding the new story you created for yourself, feeding it endlessly to a new chain you potentially became a slave to and distanced from yourself and other possibilities. The never-ending fear of falling behind if you do less.
Do you feel fulfilled? Is your cup full until it runneth over?
Or do you feel drained? Empty. Fearsome.
I feel you. I’ve been there a very long time.
You see, the problem with the mindset of taking things in our own hands lost sight of one very true nature in our lives: that everything is change, that nothing is constant. That security is an illusion.
Have you ever felt that the more you do, the more you want to control things to turn out your own way, the less they become what you want them to be? The beautifully deceiving thing about doing more is that it gives us a feeling of being in control. Since security is one of our own basic needs amongst others, doing more has always served a purpose, giving us a sense of power and being in control.
Up until the point when things fall apart. And when things fall apart we become like a captain on a wild ocean in his tiny little kanoo which is about to be devoured by the ocean. Frantically we try to bring all the pieces back together so we can move on.
We fight and we fight. Sometimes we manage to get the pieces back together, getting back our fleeting sense of control.
Yet sometimes we drown.
And sometimes drowning is all we needed.
You know the saying: “Life doesn’t give you what you want. Life gives you what you need.”
What if the frustration that you feel, the loss that you experience and the feeling of being stuck in your life are here to teach you an important lesson?
As much as doing brought you here, maybe it is time to learn a new lesson. The lesson of the power to surrender.
“What is Surrender?” you may ask.
It’s good that you ask.
Surrender does not mean to give in to every situation you find yourself in. Surrender does not mean to give up meeting the slightest obstacle in your life.
Surrender means Acceptance.
To surrender is to accept everything as it is. To surrender means to accept everything as it is and to be greateful for it.
Any time you find yourself in a difficult situation, don’t suppress the emotion. Don’t fight against it. Let go of your resistance to it and let it flow through you like a river. Let it flow through you and do welcome it. Appreciate the situation you find yourself in. Try to be grateful for it.
Beware of the labels you put on experiences, people or emotions. To call something bad or negative is to get in resistance to it. To be in resistance is to fight reality.
What are you fighting once you resist? The label that your mind put on something external. Propelling you into a never-ending fight of madness. Grasping on to things outside of you to form them in your own image of right or wrong. Falling back into the illusion of control and security. Becoming a slave to your fears and insecurities. You resist what is. You suffer.
Thus to fight reality is insanity. After all this urge is what brought you here.
Do you know the saying that “less is more”?
What if less doing and more being is the answer to your questions?
“Lukas, how do I move into being?” I hear you say.
What helped me along my journey are many things. And they all go by the principle of surrender.
First, it is to accept everything as it is. Accept my present moment and anything that arises in it. Accept my past moments and everything that came out of it. To let go of any urge I feel to change the situation. To let go of the urge to change my emotion. To let go of the urge of changing my thought. To let go of the need to do something. To simply be with the situation and emotion I find myself in and experience. To sit with it, not judging it as good nor bad. Meditation is a tool that helped me tremendously developing this skill. Try it, it will work wonders for you.
Second, it is to be grateful for anything in my present moment and anything that arises in it. Be also grateful and appreciative of everything that happened in the past. Additionally you can ask yourself what good could be found in a certain situation. Dig deeper, and find the diamonds in the mud. The more you dig, the more you find. The more diamonds you find, the more radiant the situation will be, benefitting you in a major way.
Third, it is to be open to any feeling that arises inside my body. To feel it. To give it time to evolve. To listen to it. To feel what it wants me to feel.
Fourth, act. Once a feeling arises inside of you and you sit with it, you go with its flow, now you act upon it. Here comes the part of taking the reins in the hands, to become active. Not anymore of resistance to change a situation, but from the place of appreciation and guidance by your own feeling.
The magic formula to surrender is to
Let go and accept + be grateful + feel + act upon feeling coming from inside.
Once you surrender you become a catalyst for change. Life does not happen to you. Life does not happen by you. Life begins to happen through you. And with that everything changes.
To surrender makes you a much happier person.
To surrender makes you a loving person.
To surrender brings you back to your intuition.
To surrender moves you into your authenticity.
To surrender brings you back to your bliss.
To surrender is to follow your bliss.
I wish you all the blissings that will arise from it.
What is one thing you can let go of and surrender? Let me know in the comments below.